A Whole New World

Wow! It has been over a month since my last post, but I've had a lot going on. I started this blog originally to see if, in sharing stories of my life with others, I might actually inspire myself to figure out what was next for me. My kids are getting older, and even though they need me full time when they are home, I no longer have a child at home during the school day. I recently began making lists as to what I might want to do with the next stage of my life. The one thing I knew for sure was that I did not want to work full time or do anything that would take any time away from my kids. I still wanted to be able to do all the things I have always done for them, and be 100 percent present (physically and mentally)when they got home from school.

Twelve years ago, I made the hardest decision of my life. I left a secure, decent paying, high school English teaching job after ten years. I left a building, colleagues, and students I loved to become a stay at home mom. I have never regretted that decision, although my husband and I have made many sacrifices to allow for the loss of my salary. We both truly feel that our children have benefited greatly from having me home. I feel blessed to have been able to be class mom numerous times and volunteer at the elementary school for various committees. BUT...recently I had begun to feel that it was time for me to start a new chapter of my life. I longed for something that would be "my thing," apart from my family.

About two months ago, I was encouraged to apply for substitute teaching. It was a strange turn of events, and actually not even one of the many ideas on my "lists." Without thinking things through and mulling them over for days on end as I usually do, I went and obtained an application. In order to fill it out, I needed to dig out some documents I had not seen in a very long time. My teaching license, my graduate school transcripts, and my teacher's retirement number were all packed away and a little yellowed! I somehow got it all together and made it to the subbing list.

I have worked three days a week for the past three weeks!

After my first day jitters passed, I felt like I had never left the classroom. I had forgotten the awesome responsibility it is to work with live kids all day long. It is a challenge and a privilege. They are balls of energy and emotion and hormones. They demand the best you have to give and they can spot a phony a mile away. They are draining and awesome!! I have been mostly working at a middle school, and I LOVE IT!!!! I love the surprise of what subject I will be doing each day, the interaction with other professionals, and the thrill of being able to be a positive part of a child's day. Kids are so accepting. On one of the first days, I approached a child to ask if I could help with an essay he was writing. I thought maybe he would feel strange because I wasn't his real teacher, but I couldn't have been more wrong. He was so happy for the help, and really seemed proud of his work when we finished. Since I have been mostly in the same school, the kids are getting to know me, and seem excited when they see me in the hallway.

I have been very lucky that my sister can come to take care of my youngest for an hour and a half in the morning. Without her, I couldn't have done this. But I am home in time for everyone in the afternoon, and I just stay up as late as I can to get the laundry and chores done.

I feel that this opportunity came at the right time, and I am glad I decided to take the plunge. I feel like a person again, not just "mom."

I can be called by any of four schools right now, but am getting extremely attached to the middle school and the wonderful people in it. Seeing first hand again the inner workings of a school, and the dedication that these teachers have for their students every minute of the day is inspiring. I hope that I can continue to work at this school and have even a small impact on the kids.

So that is my reason for not having a new post all month. Starting this new chapter during the busy holiday season was a challenge, but I am fired up and ready to see what the New Year will bring!

Stay tuned to see how this new journey turns out!!