Today my family and I were privileged to help out at a church in Far Rockaway, serving Thanksgiving dinner to the needy. This is the third year for my family, and every year I end this day with a mix of emotions running through me.
The organization that makes this possible is called Rock and Wrap It Up. It was founded by an incredible guy named Syd Mandelbaum, who many years ago, saw a need and has been working to fill that need ever since. You can check out the story of how this incredible organization came to be on their website if you have a moment.
http://www.rockandwrapitup.org/about-us/founders-story
The reason my family became involved with this organization was for purely selfish purposes. I could see my children becoming less grateful for what they had, through no fault of their own, I admit. My husband and I wanted them to see that they had no reason to complain when they had so much, and others had so little. My husband's boss is directly involved with this organization and mentioned to him that they could use help. We thought this would be an eye opening experience for our kids, but we had no idea how eye opening it would be for us as well.
Before we let the "guests" in to eat, Syd asks us to join hands and form a circle. He thanks us for coming and reminds us that the only thing separating us from those outside is circumstance. He reminds us that one bad break or turn of events could leave us on the other side of that door as well. We are no better than the people we serve, it is only that we have met with better circumstances. For now, anyway.
When the guests come, they all have different stories, and are there for different reasons. There are some who put on their best clothes, trying to maintain dignity as they come for a free meal. There are some that eat the food so quickly that you wonder when they last had a meal. Then there are a few, and they come every year, that walk around and try to act as if they are one of the servers because they are embarrassed to be there.
Some of the people who come are very different in appearance than what my kids are used to seeing. Some haven't seen shampoo in a while, some are missing most of their teeth, some are even mentally ill. But our job while we are there is to remember that they are human beings and treat them with respect. We must try to make them feel comfortable, and not feel as though they are taking a handout. We serve more than turkey dinners, we serve kindness and friendship.
My kids really stepped up to the plate today, and I couldn't be more proud. At one point today, my 14 year old was in the kitchen, on the plate making assembly line, forking ham onto plates while my 8 year old stepped up to two men and asked what they would like to drink, and then got it for them. My 11 year old daughter made 72 "toiletry kits" at home over the past few weeks to give to the guests as they were leaving. She saw people asking if they could have one, and realized just how appreciated her kind deed was. Today my kids had to know they made a difference.
Yes, on this day we all say we are thankful, and we probably really mean it. We pause and reflect on what is good in our lives, and realize that for most of us, the "bad stuff" isn't that bad. But what happens when tomorrow comes? Or that Black Friday midnight sale? Do we jump back into the land of "I want," or "Why don't I have it?"
The truth is my kids, who pitched in and worked as a team at the church dinner, were fighting before our car left the parking lot to drive home. Tomorrow they will no doubt be working on their Christmas lists, and they will complain about something they don't have. But somewhere in their hearts, and in some part of their brains, I know that a lesson was learned. I know that they feel good about what they were part of today.
I'm not looking for accolades or pats on the back. Actually, I am ashamed that we only do this once a year. Like most of you, we give to charity, adopt families at the holidays and give to the food pantry year round. But today was different because we gave our time and attention to many who just needed someone who would listen to their stories. Compassion is a beautiful thing to give to another human being. And maybe its cliche, but I left there feeling as if I had received the gift.
So this year I am thankful that my family was able to do more than just give thanks, we gave the gift of us.
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