Whatif?

My daughter came home from school with a poem by the great Shel Silverstein yesterday. It was entitled, "Whatif?" and it really hit home. The speaker, a child, gets the "Whatifs?" (worries) during the night when there is ample time to think. For example, "Whatif nobody likes me? Whatif a bolt of lightning strikes me?" The list goes on and on. I laughed when I read it, because, as I told my daughter, I could be the speaker of the poem, just substitute different worries. And I'm sure I'm not the only one.

Do you ever wake up in the middle of the night, and since there isn't much else going on, start to worry? Oh, I know you've been there. Somehow in the darkness of night, staring up at the ceiling, the smallest problem becomes magnified. It is very easy to allow our minds to wander and go places it shouldn't.

I am the Queen of worrying at night. Sometimes I will listen to my husband's breathing, and then worry that it may stop. I have actually sobbed over this in bed (while trying not to wake him, of course!), and imagined how lonely I would be. Another time, when I had a tingling feeling in my arm, I was certain I had a very terrible disease. I think I planned my own funeral during that sleepless night! I worry about mundane things such as if I remembered to pay the electric bill, and if I have enough sandwich stuff for the kids' lunches the next day. I worry about the more important issues as well, such as if I have provided my kids with a happy childhood, and how much longer my parents will live.

Then, after hours of tossing and turning and worrying, the sun starts to peek through the blinds. I stretch and get out of bed, and curse myself for having wasted what could have been a great night's sleep. Suddenly, the the things I worried about don't have as much power over me. It is easy to think of solutions in the light of day. Life is good again! If only I had a solution to these dark circles under my eyes!!

What do you worry about when darkness falls?