Today my family and I were privileged to help out at a church in Far Rockaway, serving Thanksgiving dinner to the needy. This is the third year for my family, and every year I end this day with a mix of emotions running through me.
The organization that makes this possible is called Rock and Wrap It Up. It was founded by an incredible guy named Syd Mandelbaum, who many years ago, saw a need and has been working to fill that need ever since. You can check out the story of how this incredible organization came to be on their website if you have a moment.
http://www.rockandwrapitup.org/about-us/founders-story
The reason my family became involved with this organization was for purely selfish purposes. I could see my children becoming less grateful for what they had, through no fault of their own, I admit. My husband and I wanted them to see that they had no reason to complain when they had so much, and others had so little. My husband's boss is directly involved with this organization and mentioned to him that they could use help. We thought this would be an eye opening experience for our kids, but we had no idea how eye opening it would be for us as well.
Before we let the "guests" in to eat, Syd asks us to join hands and form a circle. He thanks us for coming and reminds us that the only thing separating us from those outside is circumstance. He reminds us that one bad break or turn of events could leave us on the other side of that door as well. We are no better than the people we serve, it is only that we have met with better circumstances. For now, anyway.
When the guests come, they all have different stories, and are there for different reasons. There are some who put on their best clothes, trying to maintain dignity as they come for a free meal. There are some that eat the food so quickly that you wonder when they last had a meal. Then there are a few, and they come every year, that walk around and try to act as if they are one of the servers because they are embarrassed to be there.
Some of the people who come are very different in appearance than what my kids are used to seeing. Some haven't seen shampoo in a while, some are missing most of their teeth, some are even mentally ill. But our job while we are there is to remember that they are human beings and treat them with respect. We must try to make them feel comfortable, and not feel as though they are taking a handout. We serve more than turkey dinners, we serve kindness and friendship.
My kids really stepped up to the plate today, and I couldn't be more proud. At one point today, my 14 year old was in the kitchen, on the plate making assembly line, forking ham onto plates while my 8 year old stepped up to two men and asked what they would like to drink, and then got it for them. My 11 year old daughter made 72 "toiletry kits" at home over the past few weeks to give to the guests as they were leaving. She saw people asking if they could have one, and realized just how appreciated her kind deed was. Today my kids had to know they made a difference.
Yes, on this day we all say we are thankful, and we probably really mean it. We pause and reflect on what is good in our lives, and realize that for most of us, the "bad stuff" isn't that bad. But what happens when tomorrow comes? Or that Black Friday midnight sale? Do we jump back into the land of "I want," or "Why don't I have it?"
The truth is my kids, who pitched in and worked as a team at the church dinner, were fighting before our car left the parking lot to drive home. Tomorrow they will no doubt be working on their Christmas lists, and they will complain about something they don't have. But somewhere in their hearts, and in some part of their brains, I know that a lesson was learned. I know that they feel good about what they were part of today.
I'm not looking for accolades or pats on the back. Actually, I am ashamed that we only do this once a year. Like most of you, we give to charity, adopt families at the holidays and give to the food pantry year round. But today was different because we gave our time and attention to many who just needed someone who would listen to their stories. Compassion is a beautiful thing to give to another human being. And maybe its cliche, but I left there feeling as if I had received the gift.
So this year I am thankful that my family was able to do more than just give thanks, we gave the gift of us.
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Clutter
There is a thread that bonds us all, one thing that all of us have in common, no matter how different our backgrounds. It transcends religion and ethnicity. It's a dirty little secret that no one likes to talk about, but something must be done before it takes over our lives. Yes, that's right. I'm talking about CLUTTER. Clutter builds up over time, like a snowball rolling down a hill. You look up suddenly, and WHAM!, you are blindsided. Where did all this stuff come from?
Most items of clutter once had a perfectly good reason for coming into your home. It's the kids' school papers, coupons you clipped but never got around to using, catalogs you received in the mail, dioramas that the teacher was nice enough to send back home, and the toys from happy meals! Then there are receipts, and the free water bottle you got for signing up for Newsday. And that's just what is visible!
There's clutter in your fridge too! Almost empty jars of condiments that no one will ever finish, and packets of duck sauce from the chinese takeout place! There is clutter in our dresser drawers as well. Be honest. Aren't there a few pair of socks that should have been discarded? And we all have a kitchen junk drawer! Where else would be keep the buttons that come off our clothes that we mean to re-attach, and the paper clips, and mysterious screws that we find on the floor? Dried out markers need a spot, and old batteries, since we aren't supposed to throw them out!
If you think clutter isn't a problem, think again, my friend. Clutter is big business! Ever see the ads for GOT JUNK?, or CLUTTERBUSTERS? These companies will send someone to your house to take away all your unwanted junk. And don't forget HGTV!!! There are entire shows devoted to helping people rid themselves of clutter so that they may lead more productive lives. It doesn't matter how CLEAN your home is if you've got clutter. It will always appear messy.
Why do we keep clutter? There are a few reasons: We keep things because we are emotionally attached to them. (Think baby clothes- and your baby is 23!!) We also keep things out of guilt. Maybe your mother-in-law gave it to you, or your child made that macaroni and glitter self portrait. We also keep things because we are afraid that we will find that we need them as soon as we get rid of them.
I abhor clutter. I can't stand to see a cluttered counter or table top. I fight the clutter battle daily because I have three kids who really don't seem to mind it. The problem is, when you live with other people, there will always be a difference of opinion concerning what constitutes clutter. Every time I de-clutter, I invariably throw out something that someone else needs the very next day--even if they haven't looked at it in three years. A recent conversation with my son went like this:
"Mom, where's that paper with the worm on it?"
"Which one?"
"The one with the orange worm. I need it right now!"
Of course, he is referring the the scrap of paper that looked like it was ripped off the bottom of a loose leaf sheet, with one orange squiggle drawn on it. That paper sat on my end table for about three weeks, never moving once. I threw it out yesterday. Then I hit him with my standard line, "You need to keep better track of your things, buddy. If I see it, I'll let you know.".
Even though I detest clutter, I am guilty of occasionally adding to it as well. I once changed a doorknob and kept the old one in my garage for a year. Did I think I was going to change my mind and put the old one back on the door? Did I think a friend was going to say she needed a doorknob and I'd offer her my outdated, scratched one? I just recently threw it out.
Look around your home right now as you read this. Do you have visible clutter? Are you hiding your clutter? What's holding you back from taking the steps necessary to rid yourself of it once and for all? (For me, it's those darn kids!!) And if you don't have clutter, what is your secret?
I have a friend who takes a laundry basket when she is having company and does the one arm sweep of her counter tops and tables, depositing all the clutter. She then hides it in a locked closet in her room. Instant de-cluttering! The problem is, she never ever goes back to look at the contents! Bills are sometimes forgotten, and permission slips not handed in. But out of sight, out of mind, and her house looks great! She needs to build another closet, though, but that's another story. Hey, I wonder if she'll need a doorknob for that closet. Oh, man! I knew I should have saved it!!
Most items of clutter once had a perfectly good reason for coming into your home. It's the kids' school papers, coupons you clipped but never got around to using, catalogs you received in the mail, dioramas that the teacher was nice enough to send back home, and the toys from happy meals! Then there are receipts, and the free water bottle you got for signing up for Newsday. And that's just what is visible!
There's clutter in your fridge too! Almost empty jars of condiments that no one will ever finish, and packets of duck sauce from the chinese takeout place! There is clutter in our dresser drawers as well. Be honest. Aren't there a few pair of socks that should have been discarded? And we all have a kitchen junk drawer! Where else would be keep the buttons that come off our clothes that we mean to re-attach, and the paper clips, and mysterious screws that we find on the floor? Dried out markers need a spot, and old batteries, since we aren't supposed to throw them out!
If you think clutter isn't a problem, think again, my friend. Clutter is big business! Ever see the ads for GOT JUNK?, or CLUTTERBUSTERS? These companies will send someone to your house to take away all your unwanted junk. And don't forget HGTV!!! There are entire shows devoted to helping people rid themselves of clutter so that they may lead more productive lives. It doesn't matter how CLEAN your home is if you've got clutter. It will always appear messy.
Why do we keep clutter? There are a few reasons: We keep things because we are emotionally attached to them. (Think baby clothes- and your baby is 23!!) We also keep things out of guilt. Maybe your mother-in-law gave it to you, or your child made that macaroni and glitter self portrait. We also keep things because we are afraid that we will find that we need them as soon as we get rid of them.
I abhor clutter. I can't stand to see a cluttered counter or table top. I fight the clutter battle daily because I have three kids who really don't seem to mind it. The problem is, when you live with other people, there will always be a difference of opinion concerning what constitutes clutter. Every time I de-clutter, I invariably throw out something that someone else needs the very next day--even if they haven't looked at it in three years. A recent conversation with my son went like this:
"Mom, where's that paper with the worm on it?"
"Which one?"
"The one with the orange worm. I need it right now!"
Of course, he is referring the the scrap of paper that looked like it was ripped off the bottom of a loose leaf sheet, with one orange squiggle drawn on it. That paper sat on my end table for about three weeks, never moving once. I threw it out yesterday. Then I hit him with my standard line, "You need to keep better track of your things, buddy. If I see it, I'll let you know.".
Even though I detest clutter, I am guilty of occasionally adding to it as well. I once changed a doorknob and kept the old one in my garage for a year. Did I think I was going to change my mind and put the old one back on the door? Did I think a friend was going to say she needed a doorknob and I'd offer her my outdated, scratched one? I just recently threw it out.
Look around your home right now as you read this. Do you have visible clutter? Are you hiding your clutter? What's holding you back from taking the steps necessary to rid yourself of it once and for all? (For me, it's those darn kids!!) And if you don't have clutter, what is your secret?
I have a friend who takes a laundry basket when she is having company and does the one arm sweep of her counter tops and tables, depositing all the clutter. She then hides it in a locked closet in her room. Instant de-cluttering! The problem is, she never ever goes back to look at the contents! Bills are sometimes forgotten, and permission slips not handed in. But out of sight, out of mind, and her house looks great! She needs to build another closet, though, but that's another story. Hey, I wonder if she'll need a doorknob for that closet. Oh, man! I knew I should have saved it!!
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Country Music
The other night I watched part of the Country Music Awards while lying in bed. I've never been a huge country music fan, but I think that's about to change. I'm telling you the truth, I sobbed through most of the hour and a half I watched! What is it about country music that evokes such emotion? My eyes were red and swollen, and my nose was stuffy, but it was cathartic!
Country singers have a gift for telling a story with words. Everything sounds so dramatic when sung by a country singer. They sing songs that speak to the experiences we all have shared, with love being a main topic: Finding love, losing love, forbidden love, even love for a pet! They sing songs of wanting someone you can't have, and the love that got away. Country singers sing songs of hard times and struggle, songs of triumph over adversity, songs of going home again!
All music brings you back to a time and a place when things were different, when YOU were different. Sometimes, if you close your eyes, you can almost swear you are back in the past. It can makes you feel alive and young again. Country singers have a knack for making any topic seem urgent and relevant. But it's not only the words, it's the country twang, and the look of the performer that touches us. It's all in the delivery! If Brad Paisley, with his stetson and worn blue jeans, sang a song about a toothache or a clogged drain (both of which I've experienced!), I'm sure it would have touched my heart as much as the others. The way country musicians perform, usually without a lot of fanfare, is what really allows you focus on the words of the song without any distraction. Most country musicians don't dress in costumes, pop out of cakes, or enter on a moving piano. No, mostly it's a guy or girl with his/her guitar, just making great music with lyrics you can actually understand!
Even if you didn't have the same exact experience, it can still move you to tears. Martina McBride sang, "I'm gonna love you through it,"a song about loving someone through cancer. She talks about getting the news, and how her husband held her close while she cried. The words brought me back to years ago when I suffered a miscarriage, and there were many days when my husband had to literally pick me up off the floor and hold me close or I would have stayed there all day.
Toward the end of the show, they did a tribute to Glenn Campbell, who now has Alzheimers. It was so sad, I couldn't take it anymore. I wasn't joking when I said I cried for the entire hour and a half! I thought my husband would be disturbed by my sobbing and my outpouring of emotion, but no worries! He was snoring so loudly he didn't even hear me!
Oh well! I'm thinking that would make a great country song.
So...Does country music have the same effect on you? (The emotion, I mean, not the snoring!)
Country singers have a gift for telling a story with words. Everything sounds so dramatic when sung by a country singer. They sing songs that speak to the experiences we all have shared, with love being a main topic: Finding love, losing love, forbidden love, even love for a pet! They sing songs of wanting someone you can't have, and the love that got away. Country singers sing songs of hard times and struggle, songs of triumph over adversity, songs of going home again!
All music brings you back to a time and a place when things were different, when YOU were different. Sometimes, if you close your eyes, you can almost swear you are back in the past. It can makes you feel alive and young again. Country singers have a knack for making any topic seem urgent and relevant. But it's not only the words, it's the country twang, and the look of the performer that touches us. It's all in the delivery! If Brad Paisley, with his stetson and worn blue jeans, sang a song about a toothache or a clogged drain (both of which I've experienced!), I'm sure it would have touched my heart as much as the others. The way country musicians perform, usually without a lot of fanfare, is what really allows you focus on the words of the song without any distraction. Most country musicians don't dress in costumes, pop out of cakes, or enter on a moving piano. No, mostly it's a guy or girl with his/her guitar, just making great music with lyrics you can actually understand!
Even if you didn't have the same exact experience, it can still move you to tears. Martina McBride sang, "I'm gonna love you through it,"a song about loving someone through cancer. She talks about getting the news, and how her husband held her close while she cried. The words brought me back to years ago when I suffered a miscarriage, and there were many days when my husband had to literally pick me up off the floor and hold me close or I would have stayed there all day.
Toward the end of the show, they did a tribute to Glenn Campbell, who now has Alzheimers. It was so sad, I couldn't take it anymore. I wasn't joking when I said I cried for the entire hour and a half! I thought my husband would be disturbed by my sobbing and my outpouring of emotion, but no worries! He was snoring so loudly he didn't even hear me!
Oh well! I'm thinking that would make a great country song.
So...Does country music have the same effect on you? (The emotion, I mean, not the snoring!)
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Book Recommendation
Hi everyone,
I just finished reading a great book and I wanted to share it with you. I found it by accident while walking around the public library. It is by Susan Wiggs, and it is called The Goodbye Quilt. It is narrated by a mother who is on a road trip to drop her only child off at college for the first time. This mother will say things that you already feel, make you think of things you hadn't, and be grateful for the time you have with your kids. I don't want to say anymore, but I think if you like my blog, you will love this book.
Let me know if any of you read it!!
I just finished reading a great book and I wanted to share it with you. I found it by accident while walking around the public library. It is by Susan Wiggs, and it is called The Goodbye Quilt. It is narrated by a mother who is on a road trip to drop her only child off at college for the first time. This mother will say things that you already feel, make you think of things you hadn't, and be grateful for the time you have with your kids. I don't want to say anymore, but I think if you like my blog, you will love this book.
Let me know if any of you read it!!
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